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Elon Musk Can Have Mars, Jeff Bezos Will Take the Sea

Not that long ago at a piano bar in Davos, America’s preeminent billionaires got together to divvy up dominion over the land, sea, and stars. The minutes of the meeting have been kept secret–so as not to offend the world’s governments quaint perception of “sovereignty.”

Elon Musk being Elon couldn’t help revealing his ascendancy to Mars. Quietly, it emerged that Yuri Milner was given the Earth’s molten core, Sean Parker got Coachella and Warren Buffet rules the Middle West. Now, thanks to AllThingsD, we know about Jeff Bezos’ slice of the galatic pie.
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